Observing the difficulty of loneliness and the need to set up relationships with other people, I ask myself if this is something that has to be overcome, if this is a weakness and that the ideal is solitude, to not need anyone, to realize Sanyass, or is the origin of this need the need for relationship with God, and to overcome it would be to cool off and also close oneself to the relationship with The Divine?

Answer:

Omkari...

Your question is very interesting and important...

Because it expounds one of the great confusions of the actual society...

In order to start it will be necessary that you understand a basic truth... God, love, friendship, relations... are not a necessity...

Due to the fact that everyone considers relationships between friends a necessity, love as a necessity, we see thousands and millions of people everywhere, searching for love...

If you as them, they will tell you that they wish to love someone...

But this is not correct... it is not true...

What everyone looks for is to be loved...

That is to say, everyone wishes to find someone who will satisfy their tremendous need to be loved...

And this is indeed a necessity...

However, it is important that you understand that this attitude does not have anything to do with love... This attitude of seeking the satisfaction of our needs only creates a kind of addiction called "attachment"...

Attachment is not love, although it is similar...

You like alcohol, but you don't love it...

You are attracted by a cigarette, the intoxicants, drugs... You enjoy them... They fulfill a certain need... but you are far from loving them, you hate them...

They only form an addiction...

Many of these so called "great loves" between couples are nothing more than a mutual addiction... a great attachment... lust...

It is curious to see thousands and millions of beings searching to love and at the same time, to observe our world bereft of love... This is natural in a society where we all look to be loved, to fulfill our needs... where no one is engaged in loving...

We approach one another... empty... believing that the other person will be that awaited blue prince charming... that lady of our dreams... For a moment we think the other person will be he who will take us out of our misery...

He or she will be the person who will save us from our loneliness...

He or she will be the much anticipated solution for our sadness, bitterness and pain...

He or she will be that which will be able to solve our eternal problem... and at the same time your partner or friend will see you and think the exact same thing...

He or she will see in you their lifesaver...

Expecting from you... love.

And?...

What happens, mathematically speaking, when two beings, who only wish to receive, meet each other?... They both leave empty handed...

And then the disillusion... the anger ...

You feel cheated by your own expectations...

without managing to understand that the other person could have never been able too become a means to escape your pain...

"Observing the difficulty of loneliness and the need to set up relationships with other people, I ask myself if this is something that has to be overcome"... Absolutely yes...

The need to set up relations with others has to be overcome...

But please pay attention to my words... It is "the need" that you have to overcome...

Do not give up making relationships with people around you...

The problem is not located so much in the enjoyment, but in the need...

It is the need that transforms you into a slave...

"If this is a weakness and the ideal is solitude, to not need anyone"...

I advise you to not situate loneliness or anything as an ideal... Ideals generally direct you towards distant places and distant futures... I prefer to occupy myself in what I am... Whatever path, as long as it may be, begins where you are situated...

I prefer to be engaged in close questions... Ideals make the thing we idealize so much further...

To idealize is a way to move the idealized so far away from us...

"If it is a weakness"... Friendships, affection, love... are weaknesses... Do not pretend to be strong and to love...

However, to love is that kind of weaknesses that strengthens...

The important thing is to go beyond... To transcend... "the need" of someone...

So that our relations with friends and acquaintances... with your partner... will not be on the basis of the need...

"To realize Sanyass, or is the origin of this need the need for relationship with God, and to overcome it would be to cool off and also close oneself to the relationship with The Divine"...

To realize Sanyass is to realize that our need of relationships with others comes from our "disconnection" from The Divine... not the need of the relationship with God...

Just like friendship or love... God is also not a necessity...

No one on this planet has satisfied your loneliness and misery... no one has agreed to become the aspirin or the medicine for your problems... so, now you fall back on God...

I warn you in advance that God will also not agree to that...

God is not the solution...

And the thing is that there is not any solution to the human misery...

in the sense that there is actually not any problem...

Both the problem and the solution are you...

The supposed problem is nothing other than your ignoring life... not paying attention to existence... to what there is... as it is...

This is why my main emphasis is on meditation...

Meditation will not be the solution of your problems, but it will reveal the simple fact that there is not and never has been any problem...

And that this is what our illusion consists of...

Maya is that which does not exist... Something that does not exist cannot constitute a real problem...

To see it is to realize that which is not... which can never come to be...

nāsato vidyate bhāvo
nābhāvo vidyate sataḥ
ubhayor api dṛṣṭo 'ntas
tv anayos tattva—darśibhiḥ

"That which does not exist can never come to exist... and that which exist will never cease to be... This is known by those who have seen..."

Meditate... Observe... Discover...

You will discover that you are love...

That love is your true and authentic nature...

You will discover yourself as an ocean of nectar...

You will not discover yourself as being someone or something but as eternal and infinite existence... as eternal and infinite wisdom... as eternal and infinite bliss... You will realize yourself as an eternal ocean of existence, wisdom, bliss, light and love...

These will fill up your existence... They will spread out from you towards others...

You will offer your friendship... You will offer to others your from your bliss... from your moments... from your presence... You will invite others to enjoy together... without expecting anybody to satisfy any necessity... 

Without searching to exploit anybody, you will only wish to share your love...

If someone does not accept it, you will not feel sadness, sorrow or trouble... Why would you have to feel that?... After all, you only wish to share, to give...

You will walk in the world dancing and chanting...

If anyone accepts and enjoys your art... you will feel grateful...

Then the issue is not to avoid relationships with anybody but that you will create relationships with all and everybody... with human beings, trees, birds, flowers, lakes and clouds... but you will not be imprisoned in the necessity...

without an exploitative attitude, because every need will bring up exploitation in itself...

Need is born out of the lack of meditation...

A man of meditation never suffers from necessity, he lives in luxury...

God is a luxury... Love is a luxury... You are a luxury...

To be what you really are cannot be a necessity... it is a fact...

Your authentic nature is a luxury which only he who lives in fullness can allow himself... One can reach heaven because of fear from Satan and from hell, but believe me, staying there is not suitable for escapists... for refugees of misery... it is not for the needy...

The sky is suitable for those who enter it fully...

Meditate and observe... Be... Profoundly be... Realize your infinite solitude of existence, wisdom and bliss... You will be beyond all need... and at the same time you will feel deeply united and related to all and everyone...

To make relationships on the level of our surface... of the periphery... will always be superficial... You will always remain with the sensation of not having penetrated, of only having looked from the outside, of only having touched the vessel...

You will feel that your friends grow in number, in quantity, but these kinds of relationships lacks quality...

Meditation is to relate yourself with all and everyone... with all existence... on the essential level, from the root, the center...

Only then will you realize your blissful aloneness, you will discover at the level of the center... you only are... To be is the center... because to be is Divine...

And apart from Divinity, no one else is...